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“A lot of women in Dallas do.” My head popped off, and I gently retrieved it from the floor, where it had landed. I also did not have a picture of me curing cancer or making out with Danny De Vito, which is to say that there is no such picture. It felt symbolic of the ways in which I sometimes do not fit in here.

Those Dallas Women who’d gone and turned my dating site into a wet t-shirt contest. I wanted to see for myself how Dallas women presented themselves.

Recently, I was complaining to a male friend about feeling ignored on an online dating site. It’s important to note that I was not mad at my male friend. Those Dallas Women with their giant wedges and tiny glittering skirts.The dating site let me select for the eccentrics: in a band, getting my Ph.D., just moved here from Portland, don’t believe in the gender binary.“Being with another man makes you aware of your own anatomy in a new way,” he said, and I nodded, taking another bite of my apple pie. He tasted a flavor called Sue’s Snickers, and I said, “What does it taste like?I wasn’t sure how I felt about dating a man who also slept with men—I spent much of the next two weeks kicking it around in my head—but it was definitely not your run-of-the-mill first date conversation. Don’t say Snickers.” And he said, “Okay, it tastes like Sue.” I laughed so loud that it startled the woman behind the counter, and I thought in that moment that the bisexuality thing was fine. In my 20s, I dismissed men for such minutiae: listening to the wrong music, wearing the wrong socks.

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