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As far as the orientation of others, I don’t remember anything revelatory about finding out of the difference between heterosexual and homosexual, particularly as my parents had friends of both orientations, I just “In my later childhood years and early pre-teen years, I conceived of myself in a non-gendered or gender-blended (identifying with both boys and girls) way, in terms behaviors and appearance, when I would ponder the appearance and expression of others around me…without having the vocabulary to describe what I felt in gendered terms and without thinking about it too hard!These are two quite different identities - one being the identity of non-gender and the other being the identity of both man and woman simultaneously - and, not knowing any special words or identity possibilities at that time, it did not accord as much importance as such feelings have held for me later in my life.I saw no conflict of interest in these pursuits, and I did not feel like either a girly-girl or a tomboy.Orientation-wise, I have had crushes on only on guys from the earliest age I can remember back to (age 4) on both celebrities and boys I was friends with.I felt that I was somehow “different” from my peers, girls as well as boys.Was I experiencing a non-gendered identity, or a blending of gender identities?
No wonder many of my crossdreamer and girlfag/guydyke friends do not want to call themselves transgender!
If they feel at home in their own bodies and/or identify with their birth sex this definition will not describe their sense of self.
This definition reflects, however, in no way the common usage of the term "transgender".
Not knowing to use words like androgynous or neutral, or having even anything crucial understood yet about my identification with gay males, and even though I was aware these changes are supposed to happen to someone with a body like mine, here was something shocking about it. Of course, there are many who experience the physical transition from childhood to adulthood wishing the changes would stop, that they could be in another body or their “former self” again, and so on but…for me, I never stopped being uncomfortable about what happened to my body, years into it.
I would later recognize this as what is often called .